Hello once again, sheeple. This week’s message will be short and sweet, as we write it in Morse code under a faulty lighting fixture from an undisclosed panic bunker. It appears that our alien guests haven’t left Sackville yet, so no truth bombs will be dropped this week. We do have knowledge of a top secret lift-off date disguised as a mere house party (keep your eyes to the skies on the 14th is all we’ll say).
Stay safe, sheeple – the truth is coming.
Contributors: “Tinfoil hat Tom” and “Inspector Curiosity (minus his intern, Jeff)”