Society member a little too eager to participate in nude calendar

Discomfort rocked the Mount Allison Chemistry Society’s meeting last week as an item not officially on the agenda was brought up. The annual nude calendar in support of the Canadian Cancer Society features tasteful and comedic pictures of Mt. A’s sports teams, clubs and societies.

George Spencer, a second-year student with an undeclared major who was, at the time, a member of the Chemistry Society, was incredibly eager to know if the Chem Society would be baring all in this year’s issue. His query was met with shrugging shoulders and a general indifference.

The society executive decided that participating in the calendar would be fine – after all, it’s for a good cause – but many members of the society started to feel a bit uncomfortable when Spencer continued to press for details. “So we’re actually going to be naked right? Like everyone will be full nude? We should do it in the lab! That’d be fun. We could cover up with the glassware.” These comments were met with uncomfortable laughter.

Not deterred by gags nor eyerolls, Spencer went on to say to almost every female member of the society “Who knows, maybe with our clothes off there’ll be some chemistry,” and “I wonder if we’ll see any ‘reactions’ during the shoot. By reactions I mean boners.” His combination of severe social ineptitude and extreme horniness was determined to be harmless but definitely very gross.

In an unsurprising turn of events, Spencer was recently banned from the chemistry lab and the Barclay building as a whole.

On the day of the photoshoot he was the only member of the society to show up. Undeterred, he took a self-timed photo on his iPhone. In the process of doing this, however, a member of the chemistry faculty walked in on him while his member was inside of a graduated cylinder.

“It’s not what it looks like!” he reportedly said as the cylinder slid off of him and shattered on the floor. In defense of the combination of fluids that exploded across the floor when the cylinder hit the ground, he said, “That was in there before I got here!”

The rest of the Chemistry Society, who were having their photo taken in the lab next door, decided to avoid becoming involved in the commotion, and exec members set reminders on their phones to revoke his membership.

Trill Waves
Trill Waves is a colossal asshole who somehow conned his way into a position on the Argosy staff as Humour editor. We don’t know how he got here or how to get rid of him. Please contact argosy@mta.ca if you have any idea on how to get rid of this pest.