Trend predictions for 2017

1. Thrasher fedoras

2. Phone sex with someone in the same room.

3. Performance art in which the artist simply eats can of cold Chef Boyardee and keeps looking at their phone, repeatedly refreshing Instagram to see if they got any likes

4. Impressionist-style paintings made with bacon grease

5. Posting pics on the Gram when you give your pubes a new do.  #pubicselfie

6 . Bedazzled retainers

7. Calling your mom more than once a month

8. Deleting all photos of you on Facebook and replacing them with photos of your grandma so you can trick the government into giving you old-age pension early.

9. Garlic finger-scented deodorant

10. Fuck Calvin Klein underwear – Fruit of the Loom is where it’s at. Style them by hiking them up to your belly button so people can see that luscious name-brand.

Delanie Khan-Dobson