Trill’s tips

Hello. I have survived another liver damaging weekend. It was ok, I guess; it’s kind of irrelevant. This week’s tips, however, are a result of my weekend. All I can say is thank god for Keifer Bell. That guy just gives me so many GREAT ideas for tips. This week I’m going to tell you how to get in shape. Lets gooooooooo!!!!!!!

Tip 1. Watch the shopping channel. You might be thinking, “Trill, this is not how you get in shape!” Well, you’re wrong. Getting in shape is a process and this is where it starts. The Shopping Network on TV is a gift from above. Literally everything you could ever need to get in shape can be found there. On this channel, they sell BowFlexTM machines, which are the only exercise machine you will ever need. Make sure you have your phone and credit card ready to go so you can jump on those orders right away!!!!

Tip 2. Use your new BowflexTM. You’re gonna want to do this at least twice. Even though a BowflexTM starts for the low price of $1799.99, you want to make sure you get your money’s worth! You can do this by using a BowflexTM like once or twice. After that, you’ll be super huge and muscular and fit. This is a fact.

Tip 3. Destroy your BowflexTM. You’ve become the dominant member of your household. You are the Alpha, the BowflexTM is now the Beta. Use your powerful muscles to destroy the BowflexTM. It has outlived its purpose. The master has become the apprentice. Kill your BowflexTM. Become the ultimate warrior.

Hope u guys found this helpful and also that u get ripped.

xoxo, Trill.

Trill Waves
Trill Waves is a colossal asshole who somehow conned his way into a position on the Argosy staff as Humour editor. We don’t know how he got here or how to get rid of him. Please contact argosy@mta.ca if you have any idea on how to get rid of this pest.