Trill’s tips

Welcome back from reading week, nerds. It’s ya boy Trill, back in the Sack and ready to fuck shit up. Now, as you might have guessed, my reading week was rad: hearts were broken, babes were smokin’ and ol’ Trill was back in his home in Dirty Dartmouth, at the heart of it all. As you may have also guessed, I did absolutely no work or reading during reading week – case in point, I am late for my deadline to finish these tips. Luckily I gave you lots of great tips for extending deadlines in the last Trill’s Tips. Anyway, I got a question from one of you goons asking me how to promote communist values on campus. Well, buckle up, comrades, because I’m about to go full Trotsky on ur asses.

Tip 1: Learn, and exclusively speak, Russian. As you should know, Russia is the home of communism and therefore Russian is the language of communism. If you start speaking Russian all the time, people are bound to ask why, and that is when you explain (in Russian, of course) how righteous it is to be red.

Tip 2: Establish a commune. This is a pretty great way to let people know what communism is all about. You can do this pretty much anywhere you want, such as your residence, your house, the woods, the basement of the library, etc. Your commune will likely grow substantially, which is exactly what you’ll need for the next tip.

Tip 3: Overthrow the Mount Allison administration. Once you have accumulated a substantial following, it will be time for you to act. Throw off the chains of capitalist oppression the University administration has put onto you. Rise up, take control of the community and rule with an iron fist. Communist values will now be able to spread beyond the Mt. A community. With an ever-growing population, you will be able to take over other Maritime universities and then push westward to the heartland of Canadian universities, Ontario. From there, you can continue west across the prairies and into the west coast, removing the white from the Canadian flag, leaving only red. After Canada has been taken over, the time will come to expand into the south and spread the red into the United States of America.

Alright good luck, hope you found the tips helpful. Sorry to get political but it’s what the people wanted and that’s how democracy works. This question was sent to me via my Facebook, Trilliam Waves. If you need tips on anything, just send me a message. L8r sk8rs – Trill.

Trill Waves
Trill Waves is a colossal asshole who somehow conned his way into a position on the Argosy staff as Humour editor. We don’t know how he got here or how to get rid of him. Please contact argosy@mta.ca if you have any idea on how to get rid of this pest.