Uncomfortable Thanksgiving with bigoted relatives gives push millennial needs to vote
Madeleine Hansen/Argosy

Expected millennial voter turnout is rising across the nation as millions of millennials endure Thanksgiving celebrations. Canadians sat down this long weekend to give thanks and exercise the seasonal tradition of gathering with relatives and immediately regretting it.

In a Thanksgiving that would determine the divvying of grandma’s inheritance, the Argosy sat down with the Jablonski family. Among relatives that were present were Aunt WebMD and Aunt Thinly Veiled Alcoholic as well as Uncle Creepy™, Uncle If Toronto Was a Personality Trait and Uncle Devil’s Advocate. Also in attendence were cousins Jeremy “Token Gay” and Justin “The J stands for Juul.”

The event covered a diverse range of topics, such as The Relevancy of Your Degree, Peanut Allergies and Homosexuality: Are They Related? and Really, Glen? Is it REALLY Necessary to Know What’s Underneath his Turban When he’s Trying to Guarantee Accessible Pharmacare?”

After faithfully representing his generation at the table, third-year Mount Allison student and special snowflake Justin had this to say: “I mean, after marijuana became legal I didn’t think I really had anything left to fight for. But once Uncle Brian bashed my feature on CPL I thought, ‘Man… vibe check.’ ”

According to a 2015 report by Statistics Canada, youth voter turnout increased from 41 per cent to 57 per cent in the previous election. Statistics Canada projects a 110 per cent increase for the 2019 election after having to listen to your Aunt Lorrain relate her post-divorce life to the struggles of climate activist Greta Thunberg. (“Well guess what! Neither of us had the hot girl summer that was forecasted!!”)

Anyone inspired to follow Justin’s example is asked to bring their ID and proof of address to their local polling station. If you don’t know where and when to vote, visit elections.ca. You can also register at the polling station right before you vote.

Emily Shaw
Emily Shaw is a contributor to the Argosy.