Trill’s Tips – Convocation

Well, it looks like you fuckin’ made it. You’re graduating, or maybe you’re just here for the liquor drinks and the good times. Either way, it’s friggin’ party time. If you are graduating, I’m going to give some tips on both how to physically graduate (accept degree, etc.) and also how to survive after Mt. A ( :,( ).

Tip 1: Don’t graduate. Instead of walking across the stage when your name is called, just don’t. Remain seated and silent. Take that, establishment. Also I’m pretty sure you don’t have to pay off student loans until after you graduate, so if you don’t graduate you don’t have to pay off your student loans, which is a pretty big win. You also wouldn’t have to leave Mt. A, which would be sweet because you could just keep hangin’ out in Sackcity.

Tip 2: Don’t get a job. A lot of people go to school for the wrong reasons: to get a career, to sustain themselves and put bread on the table. Absolutely wrong. Everyone should know that the only reason you go to school is to party. What you really learned these past years is how to really put it back and keep it down. At this point, you might as well just keep the drinking and partying going. That’s all you really learned anyway, and you’re more than qualified to keep it up.

Tip 3: idk man, i don’t mean to get all sentimental but i’m rly gonna miss all my pals who r graduating this year. best of luck to all of you guys, honestly. i hope my tips helped u all out. catch u on the flip side, gang.

Idk man. Bittersweet about it all. Have fun, guys.

xoxo – Trill.

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