This might be a dumb article but I want to use my platform and see if I am alone in this issue
Real shit, what is up with the vending machines on campus lately? I don’t even care if this article isn’t funny, I just need to vent dude. Is this just a me thing? Cause I feel like I am consistently getting mogged by vending machines on campus this term, which is insane, because it is a machine. The one in the Purdy Crawford is the worst culprit for this. The process looks like this: I will tap my debit card, it will take anywhere between 12-15 seconds to process the fact that I’m even there at all, then suddenly give me 0.3 seconds to input the code for the thing I want before it’ll say “vend failed.” Does it even want my money? Then I gotta wait another 15 seconds for that message to go away so I can tap my card again and wait ANOTHER 15 FUCKING SECONDS. If I’m able to successfully input the code for the pink Gatorade (cause that’s all I want, is my pink G2 please I am so dehydrated give me the pink Gatorade), the bit that grabs the drink will take 15 seconds to line itself up with the drink
…bzzt…
…whirr…
…bzzt…
And then it’ll finally drop it. And dude, I swear to god, the way the grabby bit slowly moves over to the drop-off point empty handed, it knows. It’ll slow down even more because it knows what it just did to me. It knows that I’m one bad day away from an unrecoverable crash out, and it’s hoping to give me that bad day.
“You want your pink Gatorade bitch? Try again.”
And I do want my pink Gatorade. I just want anything to drink at this point, I’d try a fifth of vodka if it dispensed those. So I pull out my card and try it again, there’s no way it drops it twice right?
*thud*
Now I am 5 minutes late to class, without Gatorade, and at my wits end. The worst part is that the vending machine is pretty much empty now, so I can’t even keep trying to spin the slot machine that is the Purdy Crawford vending machine, it’s empty and nobody wants to refill it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT EVEN EMPTY? CAN OTHER PEOPLE USE IT? IS THIS PROBLEM UNIQUE TO ME? IS IT MY FAULT? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
I just don’t understand.
It’s not just that specific vending machine though, I can’t use a single one on campus reliably. It used to be kinda funny cause it’s such a strange issue, but then it kept happening and kept happening and now it’s at the point where I pretty genuinely am actually starting to believe that I’m using the machine wrong.
But what am I gonna do? Ask somebody how to use a vending machine? That conversation sounds like one that I could never recover from.
Maybe this is a sign. From who? I have no idea. Saying what? I also have no idea, don’t use the vending machines I guess.