How to leave strike early 

A totally serious guide for drama students who suddenly remember they have somewhere else to be

By BigFoot 

You did it! Closing night. You take your final bow and the curtain falls. Now, it’s time to do one final performance as Bob the Builder. But instead of building you are destroying in a careful and environmentally conscious way, which is a lot less fun. Welcome to strike, where the set disappears, the magic dies, and you leave the theatre looking like none of this shit ever happened. 

Not a fan of manual labor after 10 p.m.? Never used a power tool a day in your life? Here are some completely reasonable and totally unquestionable options for an early escape:

1. Become really sentimental
   This show was everything to you. Your life, your love. Your personality for the past three months. Stand in the middle of the stage, deliver a final monologue about “holding on to the things you love…” Reach out and touch the splinter covered flat like it’s about to disappear forever, taking with it your soul. At this point you are too fragile, and possibly a liability. You are free.
2. Do a really bad job helping so they have no choice but to release you
   Pick up a drill like it’s the first time you’ve seen one. Ask so many questions, even if you actually know the answer. Accidently remove something important. Apologize profusely. Within minutes, someone will relieve you of your drilling duties and insist you “take a break.” Take that break. For the rest of the night.
3. “This is my first strike”
   Be vulnerable. Share your truth, even if it’s a lie. Look overwhelmed at the sheer concept of putting on a hard hat. Someone will either:
   a) Assign you the easiest task ever.
   b) Tell you not to even bother!
4. Work for home
   This seems to work for all my other classes. Innovation is what theatre is all about! Leave with confidence. You are now striking asynchronously.
5. Break a leg (literally)
   You cannot strike if you cannot walk. Get the crew to sign your cast, then crawl out of there!
6. Just leave.
   Run!

In the depths of night, strike builds character long after the lights fade. In a department full of people pretending to be other people for credit, you absolutely can pretend you have somewhere else to be! Regardless of your approach just remember to take off your theater issued hard hat on the way out!

In the depths of night, strike builds character long after the lights fade. In a department full of people pretending to be other people for credit, you absolutely can pretend you have somewhere else to be! Regardless of your approach just remember to take off your theater issued hard hat on the way out!