By Louna the Tuna
As of 2025, 87 per cent of the world is ruled by men, with 113 countries never having had a woman serve as Head of State or Government. Many claim that women and men should be equal, but the statistics present an entirely different story: men are superior to women and should be treated accordingly. It is a scientific fact and frankly, it is about time someone had the courage to say it aloud.
Firstly, men are biologically stronger. Muscle mass and testosterone are scientific wonders that give men the ability to lift heavy objects, open pickle jars, and star in action movies where they miraculously survive explosions unscathed. Women, however, are busy developing useless traits such as pain tolerance, multitasking abilities, and complex emotional intelligence — things that hold no real value in the real world.
It does not stop at brute strength. Men, after all, have contributed infinitely more to the progress of civilization. The wheel? Probably invented by men. Fire? Probably a man who rubbed those two sticks together. Modern technology? Built by men who made sure the user interface was so complicated that women would give up and just ask a man how to work it. A perfect system.
In the context of leadership, the top political figures throughout history have primarily been men. Sure, you have the occasional Cleopatra or Margaret Thatcher, but those are exceptions that prove the rule. Men are just better equipped for making important decisions, thanks to their unparalleled ability to compartmentalize emotions and never be swayed by silly things like compassion or empathy. Those traits only get in the way when you are waging wars or creating international policies that devastate economies.
Now, let’s address education. While statistics may show that women are outpacing men in college enrollment and graduation rates, it’s important to ask ourselves: Who invented universities? Men. Who developed most of the academic theories women are now being taught? Men. Isn’t it adorable that women are finally catching up? Perhaps soon, they’ll even have their own theories that the men will graciously take credit for.
Creativity is yet another domain where men have demonstrated undeniable dominance. After all, the most celebrated artists, writers, and musicians throughout history – Shakespeare, Da Vinci, Picasso — are almost exclusively men. If women were truly capable of creative greatness, we would surely have a female Mozart by now, effortlessly churning out masterpieces between diaper changes and casserole preparations.
Even in the realm of humor, men reign supreme. After all, the best comedians are men. Just ask any man who declares himself “the funniest guy in the room.”
ultimately, the superiority of men is as undeniable as it is convenient. Women may continue their quest for equality, but let’s be honest — why strive for something that’s already been proven impossible? Instead, let’s all just agree that men are the best at being men and women are the best at being women.
