Sewn into place by stories of bears and belts

Rotating around a single point

But here, where charcoal paper is rolled out

Pinpricked and held at arm’s length,

I have no ownership over the sky

For things I can’t apologize for

Because when the line between

Me and what is just a part of me

Blend, I mistake chemistry for choice

And try to seal myself back

Together with salt water and

An abundance of oxygen

But failing, I find myself

Pressed against your back

Hoping to breathe in breath

Giving you puddles

With the thought that you will jump

And forgive my needing,

My gluttony, stealing your air and

Using the gentle rise and fall

To build a steadiness

That welcomes sleep

I clipped it to my keys, so I could always be prepared

The entire province of New Brunswick is new to me

I am reminded because I now hold a “powerful tool”

That is a privilege is a responsibility is a burden is

“Stephanie’s Ponytail” at 9:37 on a rainy Tuesday morning

When I really should be in Psychology instead of the public library

But sometimes a regression is better than a power and a point

Because “The first to come was the teacher.

She had shaved her head and she was bald.”

So I stared until she gave me a B

I eat the Kinder Surprise that I bought for myself

And set the disappointment on the shelf for someone else

In celebration, I count on my toes the number of times I have smiled today

And leave the bitter realization alongside the egg

Because nothing is ever as wonderful as you remember it

I would give anything for a banana Minigo and a spoon

And a memory of my “nice little ponytail coming right out the back”

Instead I have my 19th birthday and a piece of carpet

Thanks to Robert Munsch

can we stay here forever

and wear the softwood

of the banister

until our palms know every line

and desire something new

like your exacting coffee table in

California

and my white sheets in Sweden

that will pull us farther away

than our dreams ever could conceive

but for now let’s enjoy

the creak in the floorboards

and the leak in the shower

we can’t stay here forever you know