At the beginning of the year, the house executives select one student to be their SHARE hHouse rRepresentative. House rRepresentatives meet a few times throughout the year with the SHARE pPeer eEducation mMentor a few times throughout the year and discuss any SHARE- related issues that their house might be having, as well as what actions should be taken. BeyondOn top of that, hHouse rReps help promote the events, activities and other SHAREshare services within their residences.

SHARE Peer eEducators are a part of the Peer Educators Committee., Tthey meet every week and work towards organizing activities and initiatives that raise awareness aboutto sexual violence. Additionally, they take part in assisting with training sessionss and putting up posters around campus.

Walk Hhome volunteers are present at any big StudTUD events or campus house parties to offer students a safe walk home back to their residences.

If you are still not certain if volunteering with SHARE is something you would like to do next year, read some of the comments given from the current volunteers about their experience:

“Being SHAREshare rep this year was a very valuable and educational experience for me. The position allowed me to contribute in making Bigelow Hhouse a safer and more inclusive environment for everyone. I’m so happy to have had the opportunity to help continue important conversations on campus!” – Piper Langille, Bigelow SHARE hHouse rRep

“I originally joined SHARE as a house rep because I wanted to be part of the team that aided in bringing awareness about important issues around our campus and in Canada that often have a great deal of stigma surrounding them. – Sstigma that often prevents people from talking openly and positively about these issues. SHARE has taught me how to promote campaigns such as the REDress Project and the Love Shouldn’t Hurt cCampaign and resources on campus, as well as [how to] encourage and engage in positive conversations about them. Furthermore, it was great to see the support of the Windsor residents during various campaigns, such as when they signed a banner in support of healthy relationships that was hung in Jennings.” – John Briand, Windsor Hall SHARE hHouse rRep

“Volunteering as a SHARE peer educator has been an awesome part of my year. I have loved getting to know more about all that SHARE does for students, and being part of the team that draws attention to relevant sexual violence- related issues, for example, the Love Shouldn’t Hurt promotional campaign that we put on, that dealt with the topic of unhealthy relationships. Being on the team was a great way to come up with possible ways that the student body can be educated more on matters surrounding sexual violence awareness and prevention to create the safest space possible for Mount Allison University students. If this interests you, I encourage you to be a peer educator next year and help SHARE be an even bigger and better presence on campus.” – Meghan MacAskill, SHARE pPeer eEducator

If you have any questions about our services or how you can get more involved, email share@mta.ca!

Last week we started a conversation about consent, defining it as permission for something to happen or an agreement to do something. This week, we continue the conversation and answer three questions: Isn’t continuous consent awkward? How does consent apply in the cyber world? And finally, what about consent in a relationship?

Isn’t continuous consent awkward?

Some people think needing to ask for consent continuously throughout a sexual encounter is awkward. That is why it is important to talk about sex and what you hope to do during sex, before having sex. The premise is that to enjoy sex, and ensure continuous consent, you need to be tuned in. You need to be able to read your partner’s verbal and physical cues to know if they are still into everything. It is easier to ask for consent than to live with the guilt of traumatizing someone by sexually assaulting them.

What about dating sites? Social media? Sexting?

Consent to sexual activity needs to take place at the time of the activity, and face to face. You must agree in person. No one else can agree on your behalf. If you are exchanging sex stories, images or engaging in online sex, the same rules apply as in person. You have to have consent. You have to say yes.

What about if I am in a relationship?

Continuous consent also plays a role in a committed relationship. According to the Family Violence in Canada report published by the Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics, 80 per cent of sexual offences are committed by someone the survivor knows. In fact, most sexual assaults happen in cases where people are dating, are in a relationship or have been in a relationship. While in a relationship, your partner retains the right to reject any or all sexual activity with you at any point, regardless of what you have done or tried before. This may be for one time, a period of time or all of the time. Refusal of a given sex act does not imply a rejection of the relationship.

Long-term partners can have sex without an explicit contract every time, but should also agree that if one says “stop,” that means stop. Talking about sex is a crucial part of consent for many reasons, but a very important one is that it will help your partner know your likes and dislikes, and know when they have crossed the line.

If you have any other questions you would like to have answered about consent, feel free to reach out to Melody Petlock at share@mta.ca.

What is consent?

Consent is permission for something to happen, or an agreement to do something. It is required when two or more people have sex. Consent needs to be verbal, and requires saying a full and enthusiastic “Yes!” Consent is required continuously during a first sexual encounter and, within reason, all subsequent encounters. Neither going on a date nor several dates means you agree to have sex.

This means that if I said I wanted to do a certain sexual activity with you and then, five minutes into it, I said, “I changed my mind, let’s stop,” then you must immediately stop – with no further pressuring or convincing. Saying “No” or “Stop” or suddenly clearly not participating by lying still, moving away or rolling over does not mean “Try harder,” it simply means “I no longer consent to partake in this activity.” The messages meaning “No” can be verbal or physical. So read the cues and if they mean or suggest “No,” stop!

What if we are both drunk?

Sex is legal when the participants consent to it and are legally and mentally able to give consent. Consent means saying yes to something, provided that you are able to understand what you are agreeing to and can give your consent freely. If one or both parties are extremely drunk they will not be considered able to give consent. If either of you is too drunk or too high to completely know what you’re doing, then it’s impossible to have informed consent. If you or your partner is inebriated, you can’t give consent and you won’t know if you’ve truly got consent.

What if we are both part of hook-up culture? Does that not imply consent?

Discussing all of our sexual preferences, including what turns us on and what turns us off, may sound like something only deeply committed and intimate partners would feel comfortable doing. But some people are new to hook-up culture, and some may claim they are comfortable with hook-ups because they just want to try it out or do not want to look naive or inexperienced. In hook-up culture, it is still your responsibility to be sure you have consent.

Do I really have to ask and do they really have to say “Yes?”

Consent means affirmative agreement, not quiet acquiescence. Not saying “No” does not mean “Yes.” Not pushing away or resisting does not mean “Yes.” Consent needs to be verbal. This means that the word “Yes” needs to be said out loud. Simply put, the only way consent can be given is if the person says, “Yes,” including “Yes, I want to do this,” or “Yes, let’s continue doing this,” or “Yes, I like that.” Sex without that “Yes” is sexual assault. The only word that can be used to give consent is at the beginning of this column.

Still not sure you understand what consent means? Do you feel shy or awkward about what to say or how to say it? SHARE can help! SHARE can provide advice, arrange counselling, organize education sessions for one, three or any number of people, or even provide advice by text or email. Feel free to reach out to Melody Petlock at share@mta.ca.

Under the umbrella of the department of student affairs at Mount Allison, SHARE is a service devoted to educating, helping and supporting students who have experienced gender-based violence such as sexual assault, sexual harassment, homophobia, transphobia or intimate partner violence.

The SHARE team consists of advisor Melody Petlock, peer education mentor Emelyana Titarenko, peer educators, and a team of professionals within Mt. A’s student affairs. Together, we strive to maintain a healthy environment on campus – free of sexual harassment, sexual assault and discrimination based on sex, gender or sexual orientation. Our office is located in the Wellness Centre on the lowest level of the Wallace McCain Student Centre.

Why SHARE needs a column! Having a column in the Argosy allows our group to further educate and reach out to the Mt. A community. Encompassed in this, the column will function as a platform to continue the conversation with respect to gender-based violence and discrimination on campus, provide news and updates on campus situations, and increase the presence and awareness of SHARE on campus. In the future, the column will address and discuss student concerns about gender-based violence, inform the community about events and partnerships, elaborate on the SHARE Prevention Strategy for 2017-18, and share support resources.

During the fall semester we were involved in raising awareness of Mi’kmaq History Month and participated in the REDress Project. The latter involved hanging red dresses around campus to serve as a visual reminder of the more than 1000 missing and murdered Indigenous women in Canada. SHARE also coordinated a Love Shouldn’t Hurt campaign in November, drawing attention to emotional and physical abuse in partnered relationships. Later that month we advocated for 14 days of action and awareness against violence against women.

In recent weeks, you may have seen SHARE posters in washrooms in academic buildings across campus. These posters addressed cyber harassment and cyber misogyny, which were our focus for the month of January. They were intended to inform the Mt. A community that harassment and misogyny are a prevalent issues that extend into the cyber and social media world. In the coming months, we will focus on raising awareness of sexual assault and harassment and promoting equity at work.

We look forward to the future of this column in its ability to support, help and educate Mt. A students. One of the goals of the weekly column is to encourage conversation within the community and with SHARE. We would appreciate any comments, concerns or feedback that would help improve SHARE’s involvement in the community. With this, anyone in need of support or just in need of someone to talk to is encouraged to reach out to SHARE via our contact information below. If you are looking to become more involved in the Mt. A community and would like to become a part of SHARE, or if you would like more information about SHARE, please visit our page on the Mt. A website. Thank you for taking the time to read this; we look forward to building and maintaining a healthy and positive Mt. A community with you!

Melody Petlock, SHARE Advisor

Office: 506-364-2613

Reception: 506-364-2163

E-mail: share@mta.ca