Coming (squeaky) clean: my life as a third-year PPE student who is also a rat

I’m literally JUST like you

When you live in a small university town, you are bound to hear a rumour or two about the people you are surrounded by. When one of these nasty tales is about you, though, to whom do you turn? 

 

My name is Harriet Hicks-Langille and I am a third-year Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE) major. I was born in Aulac, New Brunswick, but I live in Sackville. I am “that big ass rat that lives in the Mt. A tunnels.” I’m here to end the stigma about rats attending Mt. A because I am a student at this institution just like you. 

Tedi Buffet – Argosy Co-Editor-In-Chief

Last week, I was doing something a typical, NORMAL student living off-campus would do. I used my Mountie Money to go to Jenning’s in between classes. I got my meal of cheese and peas (NORMAL), and I picked up a copy of The Argosy. I flipped right to the humour section because I am a funny little rat who likes to squeak and whimper as she eats, like a NORMAL student. I didn’t expect to see this direct quote from local degenerate Dawson Cormier: “Can you imagine puking your guts out in these dark and creepy tunnels and all of a sudden a fucking rat just runs by?  That shit sounds horrible man, I already feel like I am gonna die from the ghosts down here now I gotta deal with rats too? It’s just too much.”

 

This isn’t the first time this has happened to me. In fact, I hear whispers of “The Thunderdome-sized tunnel rat” all the time. I hear things that should not be said about a person, let alone a little rat who wants to study economics in an even more obnoxious way than once imagined. Third-year students drunkenly scream “there’s no way that fucking thing is real” after I leave Ducky’s with my friends. Walking out of Flemington, hearing the fleeting cry of  “oh my god, that thing is thick as fuc.k” Walking into the Wallace McCain Students Centre and hearing “that HAS to be a raccoon.” 

 

As I read the slander, something unexpected happened. My surprisingly smart and sociable brain, instead of turning to my usual anger, turned to passion… spite, even? So, I decided to use my voice on a platform that I will be heard from to set the record straight. 

 

I am a student just like you. Just like you, I opted out of MASU insurance for that sweet, free $300 to spend on toys that make noise and enrich me. Just like you, I admire the cube (though I am terrified of being crushed by it due to my small stature). Just like you, I hate getting up for my 8:30 a.m. lectures after a long night of running on my wheel.. 

 

I’m just like you… so why don’t you treat me like it?



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