Humour

List of Rejected Hallmark Valentine’s Card Slogans

1) I pulled out all of my teeth so I can tongue kiss you better.

2) Are you The Matrix because when I look at you I want to wear a fine leather coat.

3) Roses are red, violets are blue, please everyone donate to my kickstarter, to buy myself some new teeth I can’t chew.

4) You make my heart palpitate so much I cough up blood

5) What’s the deal with makin’ whoopee?

6) You remind me of my dad because I want to kiss your neck a bunch in a non-sexual way and then try to explain it to strangers that don’t understand.

7) Let’s make stank ass love

by Kael MacQuarrie

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About Us

The Argosy is the independent student journal of news, opinion, and the arts. Our content is written, edited, and funded by the students of Mount Allison University in Sackville, New Brunswick.

I am a fourth-year English major from Halifax, NS. This is my second year as Co-Editor-in-Chief and third year on The Argosy team. The Argosy has been the highlight of my time at Mt. A. I look forward to sharing more stories and making lasting memories with the wonderful team of students at The Argosy this year.

This is my third year with The Argosy and my second editing the Arts and Culture section. From Moncton NB, I study English and drama - aspiring storyteller of SOME kind - and learned how to spell ridiculous three months ago. Say hi and share your story anytime! (She/Her)

As a news reporter this year I am excited to learn more about the people of Sackville.

Hailing from the majestic Himalayas, I have always been captivated by the breathtaking beauty of the mountains. It is through this admiration that I discovered my profound passion for photography. I am beyond excited to bring my enthusiasm, dedication, and love for capturing moments to The Argosy team.