I’m making a list, and not checking it at all, there be hella typos in this thign
So I’ve been thinking lately, Santa never really shares his lists. What’s up with that? Are we supposed to just figure it out based on who gets coal in their stocking? That feels like an inefficient method of discovery. So instead of checking everyone’s stocking, I have decided to put on the red coat and do what Santa won’t: make a set of publicly available, absolutely objective, and 100 per cent thorough lists to determine who was a good/bad person this year. Enjoy.
Nice:
My cat Juno.
Truth be told, I just like putting pictures of her in the newspaper. She is also very sweet and nice and deserves to be on the nice list. Look. This is how she’s sitting as I write this article right now.
Me.
Also whoever invented smoothies, those things are so good man.
Naughty:
Your mom 😉
- She been hella naughty, if you know what I’m sayin ;)))))))
Your dad 😉
- He’s also been hella naughty, if you catch my drift ;)))))))
Benjamin Netanyahu.
My freaking professors!!!!
- They assign so much homework!!!!
Whoever took my winter coat from Ducky’s on Dec. 9th, 2023.
- I had to walk home with no coat on and it was so cold and I think about that coat like once a week because it was a really nice coat and I’m sad it’s gone 🙁 All I can hope is that you enjoy it as much as I once did.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to implement Automotive Safety Inspections.
- Ohmygod this shit is so expensive, like why does the government even care if you can see the road through the large hole in my trunk? The hole is in the trunk man, it really only sucks for me if my stuff falls out of there. Actually you know what?
Fuck those guys, the entire Canadian government is on the naughty list now.
- I am choosing to ignore the potential nuance that applies to my situation and instead choose to be angry at the government. I don’t want to pay like $600 to fix something that realistically isn’t a problem if I don’t put anything in my trunk. Because of all this, Carney doesn’t get any presents from Santa this year. Maybe that’ll teach him.
Any billionaire that exists on the planet.
- This includes but is not limited to: Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Taylor Swift, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, Sam Altman, and Rob Walton.
And also everyone else I guess.
- So the problem is, I ran out of space but I promised this list would be 100 per cent thorough… so I guess you’re all on the naughty list. Sorry about that. I only have so much space on the page per article, and it can be hard to balance that with the amount of content I want to implement into an article. Yeah… Not too much I can do. Just… not enough space to make the nice list any longer unfortunately. Bummer… Yeah. For real though, it is a bummer… If only I was able to save a couple lines somewhere, maybe I would have been able to fit your name into the nice list or something but, ah, y’know how it is. No hard feelings right? I hope not, it really is just a word count/space thing, otherwise I’d totally put your name on the nice list for sure.