Four years, 48 months, 1460 days or 35,040 hours, that is how much time you have to figure out what the hell you want to study and make valuable connections. All of that has to happen before you walk across the stage at Convocation Hall … But who is counting, right?
Then, suddenly — boom! The fateful day has arrived. X marks the spot for the big day in May on your calendar. You have been eagerly awaiting this since you enrolled but it still sneaks up on you like a pop quiz. Your palms are sweating, the air in Convocation Hall is thick with anticipation and anxiety in tandem. You can hear the euphoric and thunderous clapping of your parents coming from the rafters. But amidst the cheers, nostalgia of your time at Mt. A fills your head. You hold memories of posting Instagram dumps and your meticulously curated LinkedIn updates. Uncertainty and nervousness takes over that fuzzy feeling. You start to feel thoughts of ‘what if you fall face first as you walk across the stage in a gown that no one really knows how to pull off?’
When it is your time to shine, smile for the camera, shake the President’s hand, and accept the degree. Wait! Do not forget about the insurmountable student-size debt hole you burned in your wallet. If you had the love and support of your Mum and Dad, you made it on the other side unscathed (their bank accounts … probably not so much). Knock, knock. It is the real world at your doorstep, like a landlord coming for their overdue rent cheque: Your four years have passed! The university delusion bubble has burst and you thought you had more ti-
As you scour around the house that is your life in your mind, the walls have come crumbling down on everything that you have known, the sense of comfort has dissipated. Your time is up and all that remains is the foundation — that piece of paper in your hand. All you can do is take a leap of faith and hope the memories of everything you have learned will keep you tethered. This jump would be less daunting if you were not a person of colour entering a predominantly “white man’s world,” where the odds are stacked against you.
Nonetheless, they say grades do not define you. Alas, where would you be if they didn’t? They say time is on your side. But tick-tock, tick-tock — the race began the millisecond you decided to attend any post-secondary institution and stepped foot on campus. Did you lose a bit of your sanity cooped up in the dreary library, probably. Did you battle a severe case of senioritis? Most definitely, but you made it! You crossed the finish line and the pressure is on. Fake it till you make it. No — scratch that. But you really do have to make it and take life seriously. Especially if you are an international student, where the stakes are only just high — they are astronomical. All the time, effort, and financial burden you have undertaken — it all compounds into this moment where you reflect, ‘what now?’ Hollywood best depicts the notion of “makin’ it out da hood.” For many people; it is the dream of retiring their parents or buying a dream house. Sometimes dreams really are just dreams … these unattainable and mind boggling scenarios you made up, gone once your alarm rings and you are snapped back into reality.
Before the weight of it all drags you under remember: you can sink or you can swim. You can drown in the expectations, the uncertainty, the fear — or you can rise above and dance. You can play, you can sing. The world tells you to run this race at breakneck speed, but what if you paused just for a moment to embrace the now? What if you let yourself feel the music, chase the ball, or revel in the rhythm of something that makes you feel alive?
I decided to do exactly that. and I will save you from the trauma dump; long story short I missed my first year orientation, due to Visa nightmares and every International student has a similar story to tell. However, rather than feeling this weighing me down I took the opportunity to become more involved than I could have ever believed when I first started. Now, fast-forwarding through various Mt. A orientations to possibly the best event at Mt. A, the Karaoke BBQ! Three things in life are certain: death, taxes… and Mounties shaking ass on Alumni Field. There is no competition when you are dancing! And sure, dancing in a tutu looks silly, but that’s the point! Everyone is meant to feel a sense of embarrassment because that is what makes it so surreal. At least we all acknowledge to say less about our teams football homecoming performances.
Even in these moments of pure joy while I was dancing a few of my Black friends would incessantly bully and tease me, saying what I was doing was ‘not cool’ and that I have strayed away from the status quo or stereotype of what it means to be visibly Black. Rather than listen to this negativity, I embraced the positive aspects of dancing and being myself further. Now I know not everyone is comfortable dancing in a tutu, however, you can still live in the moment during times when you feel nervous. Pick up whatever instrument, pursue that sport, or even just focus on your academics; As long as you are giving it 120 per cent you have that is all that really matters, regardless of the pigment of your skin.
Remember, at the end of the day, your degree is made of paper, the deadlines are just days on a page, and the expectations are just static. But recall the moments you choose to embrace; the risks you take, the joy you allow yourself to feel, the communities you build — those were real. Those are the things that will stay with you long after the cap and gown are packed away in your closet. Life will always find a way to remind you of what is at stake, but it is up to you to remind yourself of what is worth living for.
So, dance like nobody’s watching. Because the truth is, nobody is. They are all too busy running their own race, concerned with their own paces. Even if they are watching, give them a performance worth remembering.
