2015: A Year in Review

The Sentient Super-Nintendo

One of the more popular news stories of the year was the Sentient Super-Nintendo, a gaming console that mysteriously developed its own mind. Audiences across the world watched closely as it developed an understanding of language, a fuller sense of self, and eventually the crippling depression associated with existence. The Sentient Super-Nintendo, known by its chosen name of Trudy, can be found in New York, working at Teen Vogue, chain-smoking and ignoring the absurdity of existence.

Mysterious Pillars of     Smoke Across North America

A mysterious phenomenon that developed this year was the discovery of Pillars of Smoke popping up in seemingly random places across the United States (Hawaii and Alaska included) and Canada. While some have chosen to continue on with their lives, ignoring the origin-less smoke pillars, others have begun to preach the end of the world. Authorities have stated that while they have been relatively harmless thus far, the apocalypse cults that have developed in the wake of these mysterious smoke pillars are not to be approached unless one would like to join their doom-speaking ranks.

The Scientific Creation of Cousin It

An exciting discovery for genetic scientists and comedy-horror fans alike was the creation of multiple Cousin Its, the hair-covered, sunglasses wearing, yeti made famous by the Addams Family. The cute, furry monsters took the world by storm and then subsequently killed thousands before their numbers could be culled. While humans have discovered that they can get away with creating life, they have also realized the ramifications that come along with playing God. Global authorities have put a bounty on the heads of the remaining Cousin Its.

Sky is on Fire

The sky has been on fire since July 14, 2015.

TLC-HGTV Network Merger

Two of the most popular television networks have merged in 2015 to form a powerhouse of content. With crossovers “60 Kids and Counting Buy Extravagant Homes” and “DIY Beauty Pageant,” the new 24-hour network has had quite an impact on the world. Many middle-aged adults refuse to leave their couches, opting instead to consume the network at all times. Their lives have become TLC-HGTV, they have become fulfilled by the network.

Hollow Earth Theory Confirmed

While previously only ever having been held as a conspiracy theory, Hollow Earth theory, which states that the Earth has a large hollow space underneath its surface, has been confirmed with the emergence of a race of reptilian humanoids. The Reptilians, called Lizard People by some, have integrated well into society and are now sharing their technology, which has harnessed the heat of the molten centre of the Earth in ways which we would have never deemed possible. Sadly, the Lizard People do not seem to be taking part in a shadow government that is controlling the moves of governments the world over, so we are left with no compelling theories there.

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