I don’t think I fully understand it, but this is what I’ve noticed.
Sometimes, I get very confused on how to handle a social situation. I think we all do though, which is a comforting thought. When I was growing up, it kind of felt like everyone but me had access to this rulebook that described how to navigate uncomfortable or awkward situations, because it seemed I would just absolutely butcher the social interaction if it was not one that had happened to me before.
As I got older though, I realized, who gives a shit? I do not care about these people at all. Like not even a little bit. Why was I ever worried about what Dennis from grade 10 math class thinks about me? I am near certain that all he does now is smoke weed and play video games all day. Lowkey… he sounds like a good hang now I should hit him up, but I am not that concerned with how he thinks I’m doing.
I understand that even though I may not care about what most think, the idea of a “social contract,” something that dictates what a society deems generally acceptable, is probably a good thing overall. So I figured I’d go through some of the items that I would include in the social contract if I was going to rewrite the whole thing.
Please note: I come from Moncton, N.B., that place is weird and sometimes normal but mostly just weird. We’re the drive-thru city in the drive-thru province, so take all of what I have to say with a grain of salt.
SOME ITEMS OF THE SOCIAL CONTRACT
DERIVED FROM THE MIND OF DAWSON CORMIER, HAILING FROM MONCTON, N.B
DO: THANK THE BUS DRIVER, AND ANYONE ELSE PROVIDING SERVICES FOR YOU.
I think this one is a given, you gotta thank service workers for what they do, they are crucial to our society and their work often goes unrecognized.
DON’T: BE ANNOYING WHILE THANKING THE BUS DRIVER, OR ANYONE ELSE PROVIDING SERVICES FOR YOU.
Listen, I’m sure that some service workers will appreciate you trying to talk to them for more than the interaction calls for, but you have a big ass line behind you bro you gotta move on. They are paid to be nice to you, don’t take advantage of that.
DO: TEXT SOMEONE BACK IN A NORMAL HUMAN TIMEFRAME.
I think it’s polite to respond to people when you can. You don’t gotta answer right away, but if you’re gonna answer, stop taking three hours to overthink a “Sounds good!!” text.
DON’T: SAY “SORRY, JUST SEEING THIS NOW” WHEN WE BOTH KNOW YOU SAW IT.*
Like man, what are we even doing here? Really? You just saw this now? A text message on your mobile telephone that you carry with you at all times? The same mobile telephone that you have a six hour daily average screen time on? Really? Who is this for?
*This rule only applies if you have more than a five hour daily screen time average, if you’re chronically offline, that is your prerogative.
DO: APOLOGIZE AND ADMIT WHEN YOU’RE WRONG
This is a good thing to do I think, admitting fault demonstrates maturity, a willingness to change/improve, and that you care for whoever you are apologizing to.
DON’T: INTELLECTUALIZE AND OVEREXPLAIN YOUR REASONING FOR DOING WHAT YOU DID WITHOUT DEMONSTRATING ACTIONABLE CHANGE
I DON’T REALLY CARE WHY YOU HURT MY FEELINGS MAN JUST PLEASE STOP DOING IT, THERE ARE VERY FEW REASONS THAT FORGIVE YOU BEING ANNOYING TO EXIST AROUND.
DO: ENGAGE IN SMALL TALK
Everything has its purpose, sometimes just talking about the weather with a stranger will make you feel like community is not dead and that there is hope in the world
DON’T: MAKE ME FEEL WEIRD FOR TRYING TO ENGAGE IN SMALL TALK
Guys please, it’s my first time on Earth too.
Ultimately, the summary of my version of the social contract looks like this:
DO: BE KIND
DON’T: BE ANNOYING
ALSO DON’T: WALK TOO SLOW… OR TOO FAST. Y’KNOW WHAT, JUST COPY WHAT I’M DOING IT’LL BE FINE.