Her autoresponse when she denies my calls
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Mom – “That was in your room?
Mom – “What is it?”
Me – “catnip lmao”
Mom – “Allie was going to sell it”
Mom – “She took it”
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Mom – “I will stick to the original plan and bring it to you”
Me – “what”
Mom – “Was thinking of the pork…”
I don’t know what this means to this day
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Mom – “If Secret Santa were to get you something at the liquor store what would you like?”
Great question! Cheap 1.5L bottle of white wine thank you
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Mom – “Are you working on your brain health… worried about your thiamine?”
I sent her the Wordle That was it.
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Mom – “Hungry bear rips outdoor dining tent, forces closure of Banff National Park campground to tents and tent-trailers”
I got this text while I worked the summer in Banff National Park, there was no link or anything that came with it, it could have been a threat? I’m not sure.
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Mom – “I opened your mail”
Me – “That is a felony”
This is satire
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Mom – “I only drink coffee and Diet Pepsi”
Mom – “Water holders are not used by me”
This woman is a dietitian by trade
