HEY SISTERS,
Like many of us who were born against our wills in the media-saturated 21st century, when I’m not falling asleep to FNAF playthroughs or overthinking the size of my arms when they press against my ribs — I love to keep a close eye on how our fellow girls are being represented in the media.
Now, I’m just a small-town girl with small-town tits, so I can’t help but dream about hotshot female movie stars and their genetic superiority (born without hair on the upper lip). Thankfully, through years of visual and story-based shortcuts to appeal to the largest demographic possible, there’s a wealth of information out there in film and literature to tell me, consciously or not, what it means to be a woman. I’ve gathered, for your pleasure, my favourite female trends and tropes that pop media will consistently reanimate and string along — Weekend at Bernies-style.
- Fridging
Starting with a classic, this trope owes its roots to the comic book industry and refers to a love interest being killed or grievously injured to further the (generally male) protagonist’s plot. Motivation. Yassss. In its titular instance, the Green Lantern himself comes home to discover his girlfriend has been killed and stuffed into his refrigerator <3. Think Amazing Spider-Man 2, Quill’s mother in Guardians of the Galaxy, and ironically enough, John Wick’s dog… a gift from his late wife.
- Born Sexy Yesterday
The perfect woman, really: Sexy, physically mature, somehow powerful, maybe magically, VERY physically mature… and a complete stranger to the world. She’s stuck relying on a man to get her through a confusing landscape and reacts with childlike joy to being alive for the first time or something. A very popular example is Leeloo from Luc Besson’s 1997 The Fifth Element, a biotech-created humanoid alien who crashes into our main character’s flying taxi with VERY little clothing on.
- Curving your body into a slim, perfect ‘C’ over Sam Witwicky’s sentient 2007 Chevrolet Camaro
Yaaaas girl fuck your natural rib position crush that shit!!!!
- Failing the Bechdel test
Coined by comic artist Alison Bechdel, this test, to paraphrase bechdeltest.com, has three simple easy micro-tiny rules: it (1) has to have at least two women in it, who (2) talk to each other, about (3) something unrelated to men. Easy! So nice!
Right?
Right?
Disclaimer: Failure of this test does not always indicate a sexist film, but their frequency is a bit disheartening. Films that don’t make the cut include:
Oppenheimer, Jaws, Jurassic Park, Monsters, Inc., Ratatouille, Elvis, the Super Mario Brothers Movie, Ghostbusters (1984), The Lion King, Groundhog Day, The Social Network, Whiplash, Nope, the original Star Wars trilogy, Toy Story, Aladdin, Deadpool and Wolverine, Challengers, Finding Nemo, Catch Me if you Can, The Avengers, Free Guy, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Shrek, Avatar, Pacific Rim… The list. Goes. On.
Hell, I’m running out of time. Just like a woman to ramble. Now for honourable mentions!
Manic Pixie Dream Girl: She is full of radiant, loving energy and sees the world through a different lens, y’know? Maybe she has dyed hair. Learn from her. Maybe the consequences of her free spirit actually affect her mental health as a complex person with unique aspirations. … Nah.
Girl-on-girl Queer-baiting: Maybe the girls kiss a little… nothing wrong with that. Maybe the boys look at them while they do it, or it’s a reversal-ish statement about objectification that the girls shrug off and return to heterosexual relationships afterwards.
Femme Fatales: Careful, boys! She’s a killer queen with martial arts training and poison in her lipstick, which you will never see her without. Featuring perfectly-coiffed hair and M.A.C. Pink Freeze lipstick in every single goddamn scene, she’ll seduce and sneak out of any pinch with tight clothing. But, don’t worry, there’s still a vulnerable heart just waiting to be cracked beneath that cold exterior – go get ‘em, tiger!
Seeing this kind of stuff repeated continuously is a touch discouraging, but the only advice I can leave you with is to think critically about how women are represented onscreen and also go talk to a woman, maybe. Seriously. We’re just people, man.
