Best:
1. The weird hidden staircase between Hart Hall and Barclay
The vibes in this staircase are absolutely perfect for what is being attempted, I think a total of four people know about this zone — I didn’t until late last year. If you have no idea what I’m talking about go look for it, it’s a very liminal space, not sexy at all, but out of the way for sure.
2. Alumni Field
You gotta be brave for this one but hear me out. Picture this: It’s early September, you’re on your way back from Ducky’s, and it is like 2 a.m.… Hell, I’d like to just lay down on the field at that point, take a nap then head home.
3. The Waterfowl Observation Tower
There’s nothing quite like the sounds of trucks on the highway to get you in the mood.
4. The greenroom in the PCCA
This is a bit of a deep cut, iykyk. Unfortunately, this room is largely reserved for drama students so this doesn’t really apply to most. Even if it did, you’d possibly run into at least a couple of drama students on your way there and that’s enough of a deterrent on its own I think.
5. The Cube
I am pretty sure this would be trespassing, but on the other hand, it’d be a really funny story to tell so do with that what you will.
Worst:
1. The Chapel
Could be drafted into the best if you are okay with committing sacrilege, that’s on you though.
2. The tunnels underneath campus
Everything is cold and damp, you’d need a lantern or something to provide light and keep warm. I’ve declared this a bad place to throw up in an October issue and I’ll be brave enough to say that I think it’s a bad place to have sex.
3. The chemical storage room in the basement of Barclay
I feel like the danger could be exciting to some, but the risk of burning myself with various forms of acid is enough to deter me from even thinking about it.
4. Any of the bars around town
There is not a single place in any of these establishments that sounds even remotely pleasant to hook up in, mostly because I feel like everything would be sticky no matter where you are.
5. The study rooms in the library
This is just a friendly reminder that those rooms are not soundproof and also have a bunch of windows. The weird pod thing on the main floor is significantly more soundproof but still leaves you on display for the rest of the floor to see.
