By Lois Griffin
Unemployed and looking for a summer job, diva? Yeah, me too. If you are jobless and your mother won’t stop bitching at you about your summer plans — pull on up to the Linkedin, squad! Finance bros and CEOs alike will soon become Linkedin warriors. Time to lock in!
First step in the plan, let everyone know you are #opentowork. Will anyone hire you? Let’s just focus on the next step. You are going to have to over hype yourself. In reality, you worked part time at McDicks in high school; You got a shamrock shake thrown at you, and it was a rough experience for everyone. But, on Linkedin (the multimillion dollar global company), you handled numerous transitions, facilitated communication with other staff, and made world class dining experiences. 10 000 X aura, chat.
Now, time to connect. You made your profile, so it comes time to scout out the educated, professional hotties. One painful aspect of Linkedin to keep in mind is that people can see if you viewed their profile. So, unfortunately, your campus crush will be able to see that you were checking out their past internships. Womp womp. Shooters shoot, ig.
All that in mind, I think you are now prepared to rizz up the Linkedin huzz (luzz), like: “hey, let’s connect 😉 ?”
Update: I am now employed. Thanks for supporting me along this long and perilous journey, squad. Tough times make tougher people <3.
