Trills Tips

What’s up, nerds. It’s ya boy Trill comin’ back with another batch of hot tips. Aight, so I’m seriously starting to run out of good ideas for tips so if you guys have anything you want/need tips on let me know. Also this whole finding contributors thing is becoming more difficult than anticipated so if you think you made a good meme or some shit just send it to argosy@mta.ca. Thankfully, I did manage to come up with a good concept this week because I am a really smart and essentially perfect person. This week’s tips are going to tell you what to do when you get handed the aux. No matter what the situation – roadtrip, houseparty, stealing it from DJ Ian at Ducky’s, et cetera – there are some standards to follow. So now I’m gonna hit you with the tips on what to do!

Tip 1: Remember it’s all about you! When you have the aux, no one else matters. Take no requests. When they asked you to use the aux they essentially gave you free reign to play YOUR favourite music. I mean, they should’ve known your favourite genre is Finnish folk-metal. My man Herman from Steve ‘n’ Seagulls fucking SHREDS banjo and you all need to learn to respect that and respect my love for it. Oh what? You didn’t know my second favourite genre is ska? Well too bad, because Superman by Goldfinger is up next. Ska’s coming back, baby – don’t be on the wrong side of history on this one. Third band on the roster? Insane Clown Posse. Juggalo army represent, WHOOP WHOOP. Then we got some tracks off Kid Rock’s first album followed by some fuckin’ Limp Bizkit.

Tip 2: CRANK THAT SHIT. Turn the volume on your phone up all the way (obviously) and then turn the speaker up all the way to create a deafening wall of high-speed banjo shredding and Iron Maiden lyrics shouted by a Finnish farmer with a thick Scandinavian accent. Your music is objectively the best music because you have the best taste out of everyone here and therefore it should be played as loud as possible. Oh what’s that? You want me to turn it down? That’s not very cash money of you, bro. Who do you think you are? The Man??? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Tip 3: Fuck ’em. This is the attitude you need to have when you’re on the aux. They just don’t get it. You’ve seized control of the aux. You have the power. You are the ultimate incarnation of musical taste. Nobody knows tunes better than you and you need to introduce the world to bangers like they’ve never heard before. So fuck ’em. If they can’t appreciate some of the best music the world’s ever seen then they don’t deserve to hear it.

Aight, so I hope you guys genuinely follow these tips because they are, in my expert opinion, very useful. Don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe for more of my great content.

-xoxo Trill

Trill Waves
Trill Waves is a colossal asshole who somehow conned his way into a position on the Argosy staff as Humour editor. We don’t know how he got here or how to get rid of him. Please contact argosy@mta.ca if you have any idea on how to get rid of this pest.