Dude……….. Weed. That’s right, boys and girls, that good, good, green ganja is legal now. Remember to snoke responsibly. This week’s tips are gonna be all about smoking that HERB. Now believe it or not, I don’t smoke the electric lettuce; however, as an omnipotent demigod, I know literally everything about everything so I’m gonna give you some tips on how to smonk up. LEGALLY.
Tip 1. Go to the WEED store. That’s right. We got a store now that sells the sweet Mary Jane. No more fooling around with dirty, dirty dope dealers. No more dirty hippy selling giggle smoke from his mom’s crawl space. No more going to some Tony Montana wannabe to get some of that sweet kush. Nah, we on that government grass now, baby. OK, so when you walk in, you ask the person behind the counter for this, and exactly this: 12 fat nugs, a jazzy jazz hands jazz cigarette, a fat smoky blunt, a big dirty bong ripper, a tasty teddy eddy, and a juicy bad daddy dab. Say exactly that, and they’ll know – they’ll know you dabble with the devil’s lettuce.
Tip 2. Get ready to do WEED. It’s time to get that skooba into ya. But first: You need to prepare yourself. You gotta put up some black-light posters. You gotta get the tunes. We’re talking some Bob Marley, we’re talking that Skrillex reggae song about weed, we’re talking Snoop Doggy Dogg. We’re talking that big weed music. You gotta put the blinds down. Start up ya Himalayan salt lamps to align your chakras. Fire up some black lights. Roll yourself a fat doob. Pack a big bowl. It’s about to get psychedelic.
Tip 3. SMOKE UP AAWWW YEAAAHHHH BIG WEED TIME! Time to light up that dirty green goblin and feel that big stoned high aw yeah nice. Dude, weed, ur stoned now. Big weed. Nice. Reefertastic. Roll one, smoke one. Weed time. Nice.
Hope you didn’t get too much of a contact high reading this, or maybe I hope you did… Enjoy your new LEGAL GANJJJJ, HOMIES.