Trill’s Tips

Welcome back to hell, friends. It’s ya boy, Trill, comin’ atcha from my biopsych class, where I’ve decided not to take notes, and instead jot some tips down for my loving admirers. A lot of people have asked me for tips on the same topic. This topic is… (drum roll please) DATING! How do you date in Sackville? How do you date at Mt. A? How do you date in general? Well, my friends, have no fear, Trill is here, supplying you with some of the most useful tips you will ever get.

Tip 1. Find a suitable candidate.

I, Trill, am a simple man: I like hot babes, cars, liquor and food that clogs my arteries. OK, so basically a suitable candidate for me is literally anyone, because every babe is a hot babe. A suitable candidate for you, dear reader, is anyone that gets your heart a-pumpin’ and your head a-spinnin’. If you hit the dance floor with someone, and you lose control of your feet as you dance with them, and the music takes over, then you have found someone you should take on a date.

Tip 2. Ask them out.

This is like the easiest part lol. Just say it. Stand outside of their window and toss a brick at it to get their attention. When they come to the window, avoiding the shards of broken glass, release your carrier pigeon to them. The note on the pigeon’s foot should say something along the lines of “u up?” or “wyd?” Then send another carrier pigeon saying “jk lol, u free on Thursday night?” Thursday night is the best night because you could have a bit of a thirsty Thursday going on which is good.

Tip 3. The Date!

This part is critical! It’s the whole thing you’ve been trying to do! There are a lot of places to take someone on a date in Sackville. My personal favourite is literally any place that serves liquor. Liquor is just so great. I love alcohol. It also helps to get some food so you don’t get too schwasted to make it to class the next day. A date can also take place in more than one location, so get some food, have a couple brews, hit the dance floor, have a good time. Also, and this is critical, be ya damn self, unless you want to be someone cooler like Fonzie from the television show Happy Days or Chad Kroeger from the Canadian “rock” band Nickelback.

Aight peace, ya boi Trill is signin’ off. Send your questions to Trilliam Waves on Facebook or ask me in person. Love ya.

Trill Waves
Trill Waves is the Humour Editor and self-alleged Demigod.