Living in residence at Mt. A, you get one big hurrah. The yearly house party is a time to pick a cringey or silly theme and burst out in house pride! Like Hogwarts houses in Harry Potter, except with no magic, and no castle. Instead, there are just plain old brick buildings filled with young adults that have a slight rivalry. Today I will be rating the names—and only the names, not the event itself— of the house parties based on theme, cleverness, humour, and questionable innuendos. So hold onto your horses, Mounties, and let’s get started!
Firstly, let’s get the North Side houses out of the way! Campbell and Windsor are the rivalry as old as time. The Wampbell cup hockey game, and general rivalry is strong. This year it has the same old traditional names. Now hear me out, I’m not saying that they’re bad names, but I’m also not saying that they’re good. Both houses’ party names are repeats. Personally, I think they’re a bit tired. If they put a new spin on the name and kept the same theme, I’d have a different opinion.
Windsor’s “Mardi Gras Carnival” is straight-to-the-point, boring, yet informative, making it score a solid 6/10 for the theme. Cleverness? 4/10, it’s basic. Humour? There is none, sorry Windsor, 1/10. Finally, no innuendos to be seen, which is such a tragedy: 1/10. Alas, Windsor Hall scores a mild 3/10, as mild as the so-called spicy food in Jennings.
Next up to bat is Campbell Hall. Campbell’s mascot is the Gecko, and their party name is the “Gecko Gala” and I’m quite the fan of that. Alas, they are a repeat as well. Their theme is pretty good. For that I’m giving them a 6/10. “Gecko Gala” rolls off the tongue, sounds good, and for that they get an 8/10 in cleverness. “Gecko Gala” sounds a little silly, so for humour they get 5/10. Finally, there are no innuendos here! 1/10. Campbell Hall gets a pretty decent score of a 5/10 in the end, beating Windsor, unlike during the Wampbell Cup last year.
Moving on to the South Side houses that physically got as far as they could from the North Side: Thorton, Small Residence Community, Hunton, Bigelow, Bennett, and Edwards—and it seems like they tried to run as far away as they could. Sometimes, I swear Wampbell feels like a bit of a cult. These houses, unlike North Side, do not have repeat names.
Thornton’s house party’s name this year got my friends giggling. Thornton House’s “Saddle up for Love” scores really high in both theme and cleverness. For the theme, they had a Valentine’s day party so they get an 8/10. The “saddle” pun, in reference to their house mascot, gives them a cleverness score of an 8/10. Humour gets 5/10, it seems to be either really funny or kind of mid. Finally, this house party’s name seems like some unintentional innuendo, and I have an immature sense of humour so this gets a 9/10. That brings Thorton’s house party name to an amazing 7.5/10. Well done, Thorton house!
Our next party is one of the two joint house parties this year. Introducing Hunton House and Small Residence Community! Hunton is the lonely house between the two groups of close proximity houses. However, Hunton decided that this year their party wouldn’t be lonely, unlike their placement. Even more forgotten is the Small Residence Community (SRC). SRC members live in off-campus tiny residences. They are like how everyone’s parents explain how they used to walk to school: uphill, in snow, in rain, in 30° weather. This House party’s name is “Hunton Gets Lucky, SRC Gets Played” and their theme is Saint Patrick’s Day. The theme is on point, 8/10. The combination of the houses’ names is cleverly done, earning them an 8/10. Humour is middling, earning a 5/10. Finally, the possible innuendoes are quite good, earning an 8/10. This places Hunton and SRC barely below Thorton with a 7.25/10.
The spookiest thing about Edwards House is their steep stairs and dungeon-like hallways. Funnily enough, this year their house party is “Halloweddies,” a Halloween-themed party, so for the theme they get a solid 8/10. The name is clever, but does not roll off the tongue, so cleverness gets a 6/10. The humour isn’t there, but the name is silly, so I’m going to give their humour a solid 5/10. Lastly, there is not a mistaken innuendo to be seen, 1/10. This gives Edwards House a grand total of 5/10, tying them with Campbell.
Last but not least, we move on to the closest—physically and emotionally—houses on campus. Bigelow and Bennett are so close that they share everything—a house party, and even a don! They are like sisters in the way that Bigelow is the older sister who has to take her baby sister (Bennett) everywhere with her. Bigelow and Bennett’s House Party’s name was “BigBen’s Blast to the Past”, and their theme was a retro disco. For a retro disco, the name fits the theme well, giving it a 9/10. For cleverness, it is catchy, and calling a retro-disco a “blast to the past” was a neat idea, 9/10. Humour is where Bigelow and Bennett suffer, 3/10. Finally, innuendoes are there and a bit funny. Who is Ben? Why is he Big? Blast what? Ok, I’ll stop and just give them a 7/10. BigBen’s final number is 7/10.
Finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the winners of the house party’s name I like best contest. Coming in at number one is Thornton with a 7.5/10! Thornton’s “Saddle up for Love” is such a creative take on a Valentine’s day party that also pays homage to their mascot. Great job, Thornton! Second place, only a quarter of a point behind, is Thorton, Hunton and SRC coming in with a score of 7.25/10! I am in love with how funny this one is and how it is a St Patrick’s day theme! Finally, third place goes to Bigelow and Bennett Houses with “BigBen’s Blast to the Past” with a score of 7/10! Bigelow and Bennett’s unique retro disco idea was a cool house party and their name was great. To everyone else, your names were all pretty creative, but these were my personal top three.
