The Wizard of Oz

The world’s longest and most confusing tornado preparedness PSA

Time for another exposé to show you conformist masses how terrible your movie opinions really are. This week I’m talking about the “seminal” and “revolutionary” hunk of burning trash that is The Wizard of Oz.

Strike 1: The lack of continuity was APPALLING. Was I the only one who noticed the movie started in sepia-toned black and white, and then a few minutes later it was in FULL COLOUR? If you ask me, that’s a pretty glaring plot hole and editing mistake, yet no one talks about how humiliatingly, obvious it is.

Strike 2: The characters of the Scarecrow and the Tinman, who are supposedly SO loveable, were asking for transplants of human organs. Selfish. Putting a heart in a tin man is literally throwing human tissue in a garbage can. Those organs can be given to people who really need them, instead of to these creatures who are taking up space on the donor list even though they are clearly strong and healthy enough to journey, sing and dance. And if they were to get the organs? They would immediately be rejected by the non-human bodies. This is a waste of time and material, and it represents all that is wrong with the health care system today.

Strike 3:  Did anyone else notice they all sang the SAME SONG? Were the writers so unoriginal that they thought no one would notice? Well, not this gal. I’ve been called infuriatingly talented at finding faults in others by most people I’ve met. I knew it would come in handy.

Strike 4: Glinda the Good Witch looks like my aunt who I hate. Could not sympathize with her character.

Strike 5: Wicked witch of the WEST? As in the WESTERN WORLD? The creators of the Wizard of Oz were clearly North Korean communists.

Strike 6: Toto should stick to singing. I hate it when artists try to break into acting. I will say that the makeup to make him look like a dog was really convincing, though.

Strike 7: Why did they have so much trouble with their journey? They only had to follow ONE (clearly-marked) road.

Rights for movie stills are expensive/Rhonda Herself

This film was a terrible experience. It made me want to buy striped socks, so I did, and someone made fun of me for them. I blame The Wizard of Oz.

Zero stars.

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