- Clean The Argosy office because your boss asked whoever is left in Sackville to clean it, and you need to make a good impression because HR asked to talk to you after reading week and you are worried about your job.
- Go to the foundry in the dead of night and wander the old decrepit maze of forgotten memories and lost souls as you watch the ravages of time. Thinking that this is the perfect metaphor for your dating life.
- Star gaze by yourself and come to the profound realization that you are a little speck on a rock hurtling through the cosmos, and this speck really needs to find a date.
- Ketamine
- Go to Bagtown Brewery on trivia night, armed with a plan to make friends with strangers but then your gun jams when you realize you are an introvert that would rather sit at home writing essays on the differences between dust mites and termites (dust mites have a sense of humor). But it’s ok because you forgot to take your pills this morning and your split personality disorder is kicking in, so you are a trivia team unto yourself. As long as Jerrod would shut up about dust mites.
- Walking around Waterfowl Park and feeding the ducks so you can pretend like you have friends, even if they are bought by Wonder Bread. As you stare into their soft trusting eyes, thinking about your dad’s duck confit recipe, you realize that one of these dumb ass birds could probably get a higher GPA than you.
- Make duck confit
- Study
- Draft, star, and produce a one man rendition of Annie
- Hold a viking funeral for all the snowmen that you made during the first snowfall that melted away, only to give up when people keep asking you why you are burning a box of carrots.
For those staying in Sackville over reading week, send us a picture of you doing something cool. Best pictures will be put in the next issue of the Argosy. Submit them to [email protected].
