If you find a list with the newest Anarchy on it it’s mine!!!
By Local Nursing Home Escapee
On Thursday, March 19, an Anarchy reporter went to the local Last Chance thrift store to fulfill their nosey needs. Walking in, they knew they were in the right spot as it was volunteer-run and set priced.
In the pocket of a sweatshirt was written on a printed out email:
Miles–
I just think you should stop worrying about the upcoming flight test. Just go to the lake and chill out. The worst thing that happens is death and we all have to do that someday anyways. Try not to pee in the instructor’s water bottle again–bad look.
You’ll be great! Dad.
In a patched up bomber jacket was a handwritten note on a scrap piece of paper.
There are two kids in my English class. I started calling them tortellini twins. I’m starting to feel bad because now the whole class calls them that. Even the professor. Sometimes when class is over she’ll say well that’s all… unless the tortellini twins have anything to say about it. Then their eyes will start watering and she’ll say. What’s that coming out of your eye? Olive oil?
In a woman’s jean jacket appeared to be a grocery list containing one item: Nutella. A second grocery list was found in a pink raincoat in the same pocket as a hammer. The list was organized by colour:
3 bananas
2 cheese
2 packets of Cheez-its (more if on sale)
sriracha, cabbage
flammable liquid (vodka?)
some sort of wick
1 cheap t-shirt
bottle of wine.
Found in the pocket of the first jacket to greet you in the men’s section, a garishly purple plaid jacket with a shiny lavender lining, was a napkin with a note from the previous owner:
People these days are so behind with the times. So what if I am sleeping with one of my students? She is interested in me and I am interested in her and love is love. And I’ve always wanted to see what it was like to sleep in Res. I think she’ll like my daughter–same age and we can all make stuff together! I am so glad about the teaching position–totally changing students’ lives.
In an unassuming men’s wool jacket, there was a sharply folded letter with bite marks on it that read:
Dear Arnold,
Last night I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And how I don’t like you or your mustache. I am sure that one day you will make lots of money and have a big house and whatever, but that could not buy me looking at your smirking face for another second.
See you in Hell,
Liz.
P.S. Do you think the president is a lizard?
I finally made it to the kid’s section where I found, stuffed in the pocket of a turquoise one-piece, an original crayon drawing. The drawing was of someone’s family (it was titled by what was likely an adult who had written “My Family” under it). The drawing contained four potato-like figures, and a dog represented by a misshapen circle with more stick legs than have ever been seen on a mammal. The drawing was completed with dismembered body parts floating above the family like clouds.
In a pair of tiny grey sweatpants I found 11 uncoloured popsicle sticks that were unfortunately still sticky. Conclusions about what happened are up to the reader’s interpretation. My heart goes out to the hyper four year old who has gotten into a lot of trouble within the past year.
Finally, in a My Little Pony sweater, in one of the many sparkly pockets was a note that read:
I LOVE YOU
Head over to Last Chance thrift store to dig into other people’s lives!