Mt. St. A listens to students and moves away from Paid-Parking to include Paid-Sitting!
By Leon Scott Kennedy from Resident Evil V
Attention folks! After much-deserved backlash against the new paid-parking policy, Mt. St. A is set to implement a new policy: Paid Seating. The diligent team of The Anarchy has compiled all you need to know about the upcoming policy.
Why? You’re probably asking yourself why??? Me too, not gonna lie. In an interview with The Anarchy, a representative from Mt. St. A said: “We are just not making enough money off tuition to accommodate all students’ needs.” Which is a very understandable reason.
How is it gonna work? According to Mt. St. A representative, it is going to be implemented in two phases. The first phase is set to begin on November 31, 2027.Students will be required to sign in and off chairs in key campus locations such as Gracie’s Cafe, the Stud Centre, and the Flicking Bean Café on the main floor of the R.I.P. Bell Library. An enthusiastic student said in a survey collected, “Wow! I’m living for these industrial revolution working conditions!” You heard it here first, folks! Mt. St. A is bringing the 1900s back in the 2020s! An advocate of the policy advises all students to “make sure you sign out whenever you go for a bathroom break; you really do not want to accumulate those seating fees.” The Anarchy adds, “Just make sure no one takes your seat.” The fee price is set to start at a measly 0.66 cents per minute. A steal if you think about it!
The second phase is set to take effect in the following winter term, January 2027. Paid seating will then be implemented in the classrooms. When questioned about the reasoning behind the decision, Mt. St. A representative said, “We are hoping this encourages students to study more at home.” Students will be expected to use their respective student card and clock in and out by tapping the card on a machine located at the entrance of every classroom. The representative explained that the machine will also be able to assign students a designated seat, “that way tracking seating and pricing stays fair” and “prevents people who do not belong in the class” from intruding on lectures. When asked about wait-listed students, the representative said, “Just try not to get wait-listed.” Mt. St. A is so lucky to have such a thoughtful administration!
“We just can’t afford to keep up with the demand for chairs,” said Mt. St. A’s representative, “Do you know how much each chair costs?” The representative proceeded to highlight how each chair costs upwards of $1500.00 each. The representative raised valid concerns: “How can we possibly expect to keep affording these chairs year after year?” It is a known fact that classroom sizes tend to increase each year. Perhaps it is time students did their part and contribute to Mt. St. A budget and help fund chairs.