Seance for retired prof

He is still alive
Following the retirement of Lr. Dapp, known across the Mt. St. A campus as a figurehead of learning and poetic diatribes, the English department has been at a loss. Students are bemoaning lectures across many categories, from the brand new “Intro to the Political Discourse of Inaccuracies Within Modernist Biographical Novellas,” to previously well-loved “Intermediary Pop-up Picture Books.” To make matters worse, the department has had no luck finding a suitable replacement for the beloved Lr. Dapp.   In the midst of the turmoil, several students took the opportunity to craft, as lead  student and English major Jinothy Austen put it, “a seance for the living.” Austen, along with close friends and other English majors Stephen Queen and Virginia Werewoolf, created an event for students to express their gratitude, grief, and well-wishes to the former professor. Though he is not dead, many students still felt hollow following the previous official farewell party and requested another such occasion. The English department was all too happy to assist.   Following a long planning process, March 27, 2024 was set aside for the event. Soon the Academia Quad was filled with candles, smooth jazz, and incoherent yet fervent chanting. The sun set, poetry and short memorial novellas were exchanged, and a stage was set up to share words of admiration and blissful memories. One student, Oscar Milde, shared a few words before stage-diving: “He reminded me of Roberta Munsch.” Many beautiful sentiments followed, with Virginia Werewoolf taking the stage to begin an emotional chant. “Lr. Dapp should start a podcast!” was perhaps not the most conventional final chant of a seance, but given the tears that fell as the words rang out, it is clear that it was the best way to finish such a heartfelt memorial.   Austen has stated that, although the finality of the seance was enough to tide students over, they will be hosting a support group in the Waldo McCain Study Center for the remainder of the year. Should a replacement not be found for Lr. Dapp heading into the next school year, the support group may be extended further. Though Dapp has not yet given a response regarding a potential podcast, several students have started a radio show with the CH N/A using old classroom recordings. With this, the English department may find its path forward, and literature fans may yet have a bright future.

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