The Anarchy, Mt. St. A’s beloved and entirely accurate student newspaper is hiring a new graphic designer. After seventeen lovely years, their previous formatting intern, David Von Danger, has resigned to the dismay of many readers.
Von Danger was a familiar face at The Anarchy, mostly because he kept standing around asking ‘where’s my hug’ and the girls thought it was a bit weird but we let it slide. As of the 2024-25 academic year, the position is open to any university students interested in helping us be legible, please dear god.
The position will include responsibilities such as laying out newspaper articles on Adobe Indesign and NOT Pixlr.com; guys stop using Pixlr. Jesus. They will also be responsible for our social media presence— a reminder: if you follow a bunch of pornbots on Instagram with a public account everyone can see you are following pornbots. We had to do a purge after David. But yeah, in the meantime we are doing the best we can with very limited resources so please apply or send us feedback.
Honestly I think I’m doing a pretty decent job – in fact – I could totally do the design job. What, you just copy and paste text and change the font size. I love fonts. Graphic design is my passion. I’m three energy drinks deep. I made the winter recital poster in high school and my mom said it was ‘fetching’, so fuck you guys. In high school art we learned about color theory so I am going to experiment with it a bit. Actually, nobody apply. I’m keeping this job.
