Dear students of Mt. St. A,
Do you have a poor financial track record due to some questionable decisions? Well, hopefully after reading this story, you can be inspired to account for your funds. If you cannot, you better get good at fudging the numbers…
The United States Marine Corps: the epitome of American excellence. Years of excruciating training, a lack of food, and sleepless nights all in preparation for traveling thousands of kilometers to fight in a war that one may not believe in. To say that the Marines are an international symbol of honor and prestige is an understatement.
Every day they outdo themselves on the global stage. However, in recent days, the US Marines did something nobody thought was possible. They passed an audit! (This is where y’all should start taking notes). How much were they able to account for? $50? $500? A couple of Coldstreams and a bottle of wine?
The Marines successfully accounted for all $46.3 billion in assets. Even more unbelievable is that no American military branch has ever been able to do this. How was this possible? Only they and God will ever know. What we do know is that their success should be a lesson to everyone regardless of whether you own billions of dollars in military equipment, or like to mess around with your debit card. The main message? If the US Marines can do it, so can you. And if not, try and do a better job of cooking the books.
May all your audits be passed and may all your storage units be clean, Mt. St. A <3
Kung hei fat choy to the top one percent!
