Cucumber Chronicles

Ah, the life of a student in Canada, where winters are long, dreams are big, and bank accounts are as empty as a library at 3 a.m. As I scavenge through the barren aisles of my local supermarket, I cannot help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all. In a world where technology is advancing at warp speed, where we have robots on Mars and self-driving cars, I find myself standing in the produce section, staring in disbelief at a cucumber with a price tag that might as well have been a winning lottery number: $4. Yes, you read that right.

Let us take a moment to dissect this cucumber conundrum. Not too long ago, a cucumber used to cost less than a pack of gum. It was the ideal healthy snack for a broke student: cucumber and dip, practically a gift from Mother Nature herself. Now, it is as if the cucumber has undergone some kind of Ivy League education, complete with tuition fees and student loans. This cucumber probably has an Instagram account, a subscription to The New Yorker, and dreams of travelling to Europe once it graduates from the vegetable academy.


I wonder what this cucumber’s life was like before it ended up on the grocery store shelf. Did it have a humble upbringing in a small, organic farm, nurtured by a loving farmer who sang it lullabies and told it stories of the big, wide world beyond the garden fence? Or was it part of some cucumber conglomerate, raised in a cold, sterile greenhouse, with its only companions being automated watering systems and fluorescent lights? Either way, it must have been one pampered cucumber to have earned its $4 price tag.


As I continue my journey through the grocery store, I roll my eyes at the ludicrousness of the rising food prices. It extends beyond the cucumber; it encompasses everything. We find ourselves in a situation reminiscent of a Shakespearean tragedy, torn between spending our last shillings on textbooks or groceries, to be educated or to be nourished! Even the humble ramen noodles, the sacred sustenance of students everywhere, have become premium gourmet delicacies with prices that would make a Michelin-star chef blush. 


And so, armed with determination and an appetite for finding bargains of half-off stickers and no-named brands, we brave the aisles of this pricey Canadian landscape. The $4 cucumber may symbolize our culinary trials, but we, dear comrades-in-frugality, stand stronger.

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