Following the expression ‘new year new me,’ Mount Allison University has committed itself to developing healthier habits in an attempt to slim down its size in the new year. Mount Allison reportedly had a rough couple years, experiencing chronic fatigue and lethargic behaviour after having to endure the arts side of the liberal arts experience. […]
Following the unveiling of Elon Musk’s Tesla Cybertruck this past Thursday, Mount Allison’s Facilities Management has presented a futuristic utility vehicle of its own. The Cyber Golf Cart is a state-of-the-art utility golf cart created from the ground up to be as expensive and “avant-garde” as possible. Designed in the same style as the Cybertruck, […]
The lawn of a house party in Sackville draws a large crowd of Mount Allison students. They laugh, cheer and drink without fear of police intervention, as there’s only like two cops in Sackville and they don’t often make their way out this far. The dim lighting of party happening inside spills out onto the […]
Discomfort rocked the Mount Allison Chemistry Society’s meeting last week as an item not officially on the agenda was brought up. The annual nude calendar in support of the Canadian Cancer Society features tasteful and comedic pictures of Mt. A’s sports teams, clubs and societies. George Spencer, a second-year student with an undeclared major who […]
Expected millennial voter turnout is rising across the nation as millions of millennials endure Thanksgiving celebrations. Canadians sat down this long weekend to give thanks and exercise the seasonal tradition of gathering with relatives and immediately regretting it. In a Thanksgiving that would determine the divvying of grandma’s inheritance, the Argosy sat down with the […]
In yet another embarrassing turn of events for the first-year population of Mount Allison, a freshman student has referred to the R.P. Bell Library as the “lib” instead of as the “lib.” As we all know, the correct way to pronounce “lib” is “lib,” not “lib.” Upon hearing this mispronunciation, a nearby fourth-year washup, me, […]
On Saturday, Oct. 5, 2019, a Mount Allison student was pronounced dead inside of Club P. Herbert S. Brandlesnatch, a 60th-year philosophy student, was found unresponsive slumped over the bar of Sackville’s premier nightclub. Paramedics ruled the cause of death to be natural. He was 80 years old. It was determined that Brandlesnatch had entered […]
On top of the lib In the Ducky’s bathroom Sackville Memorial Hospital, 20 years in the future (known as a “HOCOma”) Dr. Boudreau’s house An air mattress floating in the middle of Swan Pond Your parents’ house Behind the wheel of an RCMP car with the officers locked in the back seat The end of […]
