Following the expression ‘new year new me,’ Mount Allison University has committed itself to developing healthier habits in an attempt to slim down its size in the new year. Mount Allison reportedly had a rough couple years, experiencing chronic fatigue and lethargic behaviour after having to endure the arts side of the liberal arts experience. […]

Following the unveiling of Elon Musk’s Tesla Cybertruck this past Thursday, Mount Allison’s Facilities Management has presented a futuristic utility vehicle of its own. The Cyber Golf Cart is a state-of-the-art utility golf cart created from the ground up to be as expensive and “avant-garde” as possible. Designed in the same style as the Cybertruck, […]

The lawn of a house party in Sackville draws a large crowd of Mount Allison students. They laugh, cheer and drink without fear of police intervention, as there’s only like two cops in Sackville and they don’t often make their way out this far. The dim lighting of party happening inside spills out onto the […]

Expected millennial voter turnout is rising across the nation as millions of millennials endure Thanksgiving celebrations. Canadians sat down this long weekend to give thanks and exercise the seasonal tradition of gathering with relatives and immediately regretting it. In a Thanksgiving that would determine the divvying of grandma’s inheritance, the Argosy sat down with the […]

In yet another embarrassing turn of events for the first-year population of Mount Allison, a freshman student has referred to the R.P. Bell Library as the “lib” instead of as the “lib.” As we all know, the correct way to pronounce “lib” is “lib,” not “lib.” Upon hearing this mispronunciation, a nearby fourth-year washup, me, […]

On top of the lib In the Ducky’s bathroom Sackville Memorial Hospital, 20 years in the future (known as a “HOCOma”) Dr. Boudreau’s house An air mattress floating in the middle of Swan Pond Your parents’ house Behind the wheel of an RCMP car with the officers locked in the back seat The end of […]